Already Gone
by atrum infractus
Summary: This time, Dean will never be able to forgive Sam. Warning: Character death.


**Already Gone  
**_**by atrum infractus**_

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Dean felt tears fill his eyes and angrily wiped them away. How could Sam be so stupid? How could he had known what would happen and just do it anyway? He glanced in at his baby brother, laying helplessly on the bed, restrained by wires and tubes that made Dean feel sick. Sam was almost as pale as his bedsheets, which made the young man look like a ghost underneath that mess of dark hair.

"Mr. Winchester, we need a descision."

The grim-faced doctor looked heartless and somewhat bored, his voice flat and infuriating. "There-there's no chance?" Dean asked hoarsely.

"I'm afraid to say Samuel has no brain activity. He also has heavy internal bleeding, and massive internal injuries. There's no possibility of a recovery, and even if there was a miracle, your brother would be paralyzed and retarded."

Dean swallowed against the bile rising in his throat. _Sam not thinking_...there was a first. There was no way...he didn't know what Sam wanted, but if he was gone in spirit...he could immagine that he wanted to rejoin Jess, and meet Mom...

"Mr. Winchester?"

"What happens if I don't?" asked Dean desperately. He needed hope. He was starving for it.

"He will continue to exsist on earth, but it's more than likely he will never wake up."

The man on the bed...Sammy...was never going to wake up again...this man had to be lying...Sammy'd be okay. He always was. "Can I have a moment with him first?" said Dean, voice cracking.

"Certainly," said the doctor. "Just let us know when you're done, sir."

The room smelled heavily of disinfectants, and the white room was almost blinding. Sam lay in the bed just as he had when Dean watched him from the window. It was the cleanest room he'd ever stepped foot in, and yet, he hated it the most. He longed for the junky motels they had stayed it, with the floor completely refurbished with candy wrappers and microwave dinner boxes.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. So sorry..." What was wrong with him? Dean always had something to say, a whole mouthfull of words that would suit a particular occasion. He'd never thought about this one, though. "Say hi to Mom for me, okay? Don't even think about haunting me, Sammy, I've got a gun full of rocksalt that I'll be more than happy to use on you."

Sam's face normally would have broke out into a grin at that comment- he usually grinned at Dean's more stupid comments, but this time, he didn't. He was just...there. But he wasn't there. Sam was somewhere else...

_Where are you?_

Dean felt a lump rise in his throat. "Sammy, I know you're not exactly here, so wherever you are...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't listen..." Dean heard his voice rise in pitch with his emotions. "I should have known you had a reason for not wanting to come...if it helps, you really taught me a lesson this time." His voice was now wavering as he watched the oblivious face of his little brother. "I love you, Sammy."

Not even a flush on the cheeks- he couldn't hear his brother making an idiot of himself. Not that'd he care- it was Dean's fault he couldn't hear him.

"I'm done," he whispered to a nurse, and hurried from the room. He stopped by a chair where he could watch them take Sammy off life-support. He took a note out of his pocket, furiously wiping away more tears.

_Dean-_

_Consider this revenge for never having a "chic-flick moment". I know you'll read it, even though you're probably completely furious with everything in a thousand mile radius. Better make that million.  
__Anyway, Dean, I had a vision a few months ago, that you would get yourself killed by this creature. I made a desicion then that I was going to try to stop it, and if you're reading this, then I didn't succeed how I wanted to, but I did succeed. I just wanted a chance to say I'm sorry if I never got the chance.  
__I didn't mean for it to end up this way, but I know if it was me, you'd do the same thing._

_Love,  
Sam_

"If you weren't already gone, I'd kill you for this," whispered Dean to the empty body of his brother.

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_Author's Notes: _

This is my first fanfic for Supernatural. Please let me know what you thought and drop me a review.


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